A part of our story: The meeting of little self

Somewhere in between dimensions a communication was sensed. They hadn’t met for centuries. One was full of hope and the other, so far nowhere to be seen.

Dearest,

I am sorry. I left you there. Bewildered and lost in a sea of nonsense. You could not understand what was happening to you.  You tried to follow a thread, to understand why, how, when, what. No answers.  I left you there. You were nervous from day one.  You were so confused and so small. Somewhere far away in a distant place you felt that a few things made sense, something was hidden somewhere, it felt warm and safe. It kept you going, but home was nowhere to be seen. I know it was a shock. I know that day made you cry, a cry that still echoes in eternity. I broke your heart. There was no other way. One day you will understand, one day. I want to see you in radiant colours. But I can’t.

I want to meet you. Please do not run away, no more fear I promise. The day you and I meet again will be that day, the day you are free. What do you think? Will you ever forgive me? Can it be done?

I am hoping that time will come very soon. I am wondering where to meet. But all is grey. I am so sorry. I know it was a shock. That cry still echoes in my heart. I tried to reach you believe me, but it was in vain. You could not hear me. There was too much pain.  I can feel you running. Maybe it’s not easy, but we must meet.

I don’t know what I can say to make this easier. I know what you felt I know what you thought. You were betrayed. You were abandoned. You were blindfolded and beaten senseless. You were made to climb a steep mountain only to be shown the vastness of despair. And worst of all you were invisible. No one noticed. No one really cared. At least not enough to ask; who are you, where do you come from? You were searching for answers in the eyes of strangers, or a glimmer of hope, but all you got was a jungle of fear. Fear and loneliness. I am so sorry. You must understand that it is not too late. I can help you, like you helped me. Let me hold your hand. Let us do what we planned to. Let us laugh and hug. Without you I am not complete. Actually without you I am nothing. I cannot function. You are everything to me. You mean the world to me. Your laugh, innocence, beauty and freedom are the world, but all has been buried and forgotten. I am sorry.  I didn’t know any better. I didn’t see it coming.  Forgive me. Forgive them too.

How can I take that blindfold off your eyes? How can I un-suffocate you?  Show you a miraculous view? It is not too late. There is a way.

But I don’t know where you are, where have you run to? Where are you hiding? I don’t want you to be hurt again. I would not recover if that were to happen, it has to work. You and I together is the only way.  Let’s us meet. Let’s us see what happens. Gently. No rush.

What do you say? I will sit in silence for as long as it takes, and wait, for your whisper, touch or smell, anything you can spare me. I will be very still so any little sign will do. There is no rush, in your own time.

And just in case you are still too terrified, hiding in a corner, let me help you ease your way.  That which you dreamt is real.  That which you felt, is real. That which you feared, is soon gone. You see I am a magician, but not complete without you. It cannot be without your laughter.

I have found a place. It’s on the top of a hill, in a park. I have found my seat and a bed, a rather handsome looking bench; I will be there for as long as it takes. I look very different but you will know who I am. There I can show you the ways of the world from a distance. There we can escape when we want to. There we can take part in the story when we feel to do so.

Let me recall. Let me show you who I see. I see this wonderful sparkling girl with an extraordinary joyful nature, nothing can stop her, nothing ever will. I sense a sea of untold stories, of dreams to be dreamt. I see a power so great that it goes beyond all fear; it crosses boarders and builds bridges. It knows that it will laugh and dance through it all. I will hold your hand yet I am wondering if you will hold mine. You see I am now stepping down to let you lead the way, it will be a new game to play, you will know I am there and I will not be real to others. You will know no fear, as wonder and laughter will override that which you may have carried on. There is more. There is a lot more. I can’t wait for your response to share this with you.  I can already feel your smile.

Eternally,

Zu

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